Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Non-Specified” Option

The “non-specified” option is similar to the “fall as it may” option because neither option specifically designates in advance with which parent the children will spend a particular holiday. Instead, both options take a more casual and flexible approach to holiday planning.   However, the “non-specified” option differs from the “fall as it may” option … Continue reading Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Non-Specified” Option

Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Fall as it May” Option

Note: As I have previously emphasized, children are not objects to be “owned” by or “assigned to” either parent. Hence, in recent years legal terminology has substituted “parenting plan” for the traditional “custody.” In keeping with this more enlightened attitude, I do my best to avoid  language stating that “the Father/Mother shall have the children,” … Continue reading Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Fall as it May” Option

Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Add On” Option

The “add on” option is used primarily for Monday and Friday holidays, such as Good Friday, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc., when the parents do not want to allocate these holidays in a more specific manner (such as “split” or “equal and rotational.”) With the “add on” option, the holiday is added to the nearest … Continue reading Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Add On” Option

Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Split” Option

The “split” option offers an alternative to some of the possible drawbacks associated with the “equal and rotational” and the “exclusive” approaches. With the “split” approach, specific holidays are split into two distinct periods, so that the children spend part of the split holiday with each parent rather than being apart from either parent for … Continue reading Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Split” Option

Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Exclusive” Option

The “exclusive” option is the complete opposite of the “equal and rotational” option discussed in my previous blog. The “equal and rotational” option allows the children to take turns spending a particular holiday with each parent. Therefore, a parenting plan might provide: Thanksgiving: Thanksgiving shall be shared equally and rotationally, from Wednesday at 5:00 p.m. … Continue reading Children and Holidays After Divorce: The “Exclusive” Option

Children and Holidays After Divorce – Ten Options: Equal and Rotational

Because holidays and special occasions (such as birthdays) are traditionally a time for families to celebrate together, developing a post-divorce parenting plan for these celebrations can be a very difficult, painful, and contentious aspect of the divorce process. It is a balancing act between doing what is best for the children while simultaneously recognizing each … Continue reading Children and Holidays After Divorce – Ten Options: Equal and Rotational

Telling Your Children About Your Divorce

Divorce is very upsetting and frightening, especially for children. Therefore, it is particularly important that you do everything possible to minimize the fear and anxiety that your children are likely to experience. The first and most important step in preparing your children for these changes is the way you tell your children about the divorce. Here are … Continue reading Telling Your Children About Your Divorce

How to Co-Parent After Your Divorce

Co-parenting is the process by which parents who do not live together communicate and work with each other to promote their children’s best interests, including their children’s having an ongoing and healthy relationship with both parents. Co-parenting does not necessarily mean equal and identical relationships with the children–each parent is a unique individual with his/her strengths and … Continue reading How to Co-Parent After Your Divorce

Helping Your Children Cope with Your Divorce

There are three distinct phases in the process of helping your children to accept the significant changes created by your divorce, to adapt to those changes, and to eventually establish a new reality that allows your children to live happy, healthy and productive lives.The first phase of the process is for both of you, as a team, … Continue reading Helping Your Children Cope with Your Divorce

7 Reasons to Choose Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation empowers both of you: The primary role of attorneys in litigation and collaborative divorce is to represent your separate interests first and foremost at the expense of shared goals and cooperative problem-solving. In the process, you lose your voice as your representatives “fight for your rights,” thereby focusing on your differences and on blame for the past. … Continue reading 7 Reasons to Choose Divorce Mediation